There is this one moment, when you come to realise that, you have no real relationship with anybody to look upto. No person that you would want to call up to let them know and have a share of your happy moments. Name of no person comes to my mind if you ask whom I would call to tell my problems to. And I do not know what I would name that feeling.
You realise that you are swimming the waters of the world alone, with no one nearby, but the weirdest part is that you are enjoying it. You have started enjoying being alone. Gone are the days when you would drown in the feelings of pity. Pity about being left alone. Pity about being left out. Pity about being distanced. Now, you realise, after all those days of pity, your heart has taught itself to feel happy by being alone. To find happiness in standing alone. In enjoying alone. Am I supposed to feel happy about it? That I realise that I no longer mind being left alone. I have taught myself that nobody cares about me to be there by my side. Am I supposed to rejoice at that little realisation?
How about you ask yourself a question like me? Do u really have someone for real for yourself?
Is hollow, how you are feeling?
And there are still times, when I feel, a presence would have done wonders to my situation. The absence of a presence is what bothers me the most. The absence of a presence is what muddles up my mind, my words, my feelings. The absence of a presence to whom I could laugh openly with. How I still wish, this absence of a presence would teach me to find happiness in the sack of loneliness.
But then I ask myself, do you want to become that cold a person? Who find happiness in loneliness?
And the cycle starts all over again.
But I still seem to be swimming the waters of loneliness. My eyes wishing for the presence of a shore.